A Burning Heart.

Lately I’ve been reflecting back on the past year, taking stock of my regrets, accomplishments, hopes, changes and desires…

I’m not quite sure why this year of all years has been such a changing year for me…perhaps it’s completing our family with our sweet little Savannah, or possibly the leap of faith I’ve taken in following my calling, but one thing is for sure…it’s given me A Burning Heart.

A heart that yearns for connection, meaning, presence and inspiration. 

Earlier this year I struggled with feeling overwhelmed, mom guilt and trying to find my voice and place in this world. But lately, I’ve learned to let that all go. To say YES to playing on the floor with my kids instead of doing the dishes. YES to listening to my gut when it comes to how I want to help others. YES to being present over perfect. So what’s caused this shift? God.

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“But present and connected and grounded deeply in the love of God, which is changing everything.”

I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, but I’ve always believed in God. I didn’t have much of a relationship with him, but would pray during the big struggles in my life. I attended church in my early 20’s, but felt an overwhelming sense of judgement so I stopped going and quite honestly never thought I’d return.

Over the last few months however, I felt this tug on my heart. A tug telling me to draw near.

I joined a Christian based mom’s group {MOPS} in January of 2015 that set the stage for things to change. It took some time, but gradually my heart softened to the idea of having a relationship with Him.

I would listen to the other mommas at my table talk about the goodness of God and what their faith in him has done for their life. I started to follow Lara Casey and read her book Make it Happen. I also read Shauna Niequist’s book Present over Perfect, and to say my life has changed is an understatement.

This burning in my heart is something I feel every day now and it came from truly letting go and trusting. I’ve always felt like I had to prove my worth. Put others feelings, needs and desires before my own. Have a perfect house. The perfect body. Be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister & friend.

But, allowing God to come close and work in my heart over the last few months has made me realize that it’s so much more than all of those things. It’s about being truly present. Following his call on your life. Loving those around you in a deep way. And seeing the beauty in every day.

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As I plan for the future and how I want to spend my time, these are the things that are on my heart…

Self care. Including yoga, fueling my body properly, reading & connecting with friends so that I can give the most of me to my loved ones.

Supporting and loving my husband with intention. Tell him that I’m grateful for the things he does for us regularly. Plan monthly dates for us to reconnect, even if that means wine & dessert on that patio after the kids go to bed.

Quality time playing with my kiddos daily. Outside, indoors or on family adventures…as long as I’m truly present with them that’s all that matters.

Spending time with God. So that my decisions and actions are with purpose and direction.

Making myself available to help those who are struggling with infertility/Hypothalamic Amenorrhea. Whether through calls over the phone, what I share on my blog or The HA Sisterhood...this is where my story is best used.

Sharing my love for truly living a healthy, happy life. Helping others live a life without guilt or the need for perfection is what I hope to do.

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When you truly let God take the wheel and lead your life, knowing how to spend your time becomes easy.

The overwhelm dissipates. The mom guilt is easier to quiet. And finding your voice & place turns into A Burning Heart. 

XOXO,

~P

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “A Burning Heart.

  1. Jessie says:

    Love this! You’re amazing! It’s so great how everything has clicked and you know exactly how to spend your days and with your work to help those struggling with HA. Best wishes, Jessie

  2. Judith says:

    Oh wow P, I just love this post! I’m so thrilled (and inspired) to hear that what has made the difference in your life is God, and that MOPS has had such a positive impact on your journey.
    I’m feel like I’m struggling in my HA recovery and in my relationship with God right now, but I feel inspired that you’ve been able to grow so much. So awesome, and I’m so happy for you! X

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