Right in Front of Me

This season of motherhood, you know the one with little people running about? Well, I guess you could say I’m in the depths of that season. I mean right smack dab in the middle. The pull of a threenager that constantly wants to tell you about all of the things he dreams up in his curious little mind and a toddler that’s demanding your assistance at every turn.

I guess you could say I’ve come along way over the last year (you can read about it HERE & HERE), but I’m still human. And all too often I still find myself with my head down, moving from one task to another, only to miss what’s right in front of me.

But the thing is, that is not how I want to live my days…

As much as I hate to admit it, I still fall into that trap from time to time of letting the day dictate my actions. The difference is now I’m able to see when this is happening much sooner than before. I’m able to take a step back, breath in deep and take control.

Yes, my children take up a lot of my time and attention. Between the messes they make, the fighting over toys and needing to go potty (NOW!) when I’m in the middle of changing a diaper can leave me feeling like I can barely come up for air. But that doesn’t mean I have to move through these tasks with my head down just trying to survive.

I can look up, see the beauty right in front of me and soak it al in…

The messes, they’re reminders that two tiny humans played and had a really great time without a care in the world. Even if it was 20 min after I finished mopping.

Or the fighting over toys, is seeing two siblings learning to coexist with one another. Building a relationship with one another that they will keep for the rest of their lives.

And the needing to go potty at the most inopportune time? It’s a feeling of still being needing in this growing up way-too-fast little boys life. When all too often he no longer needs mommies help. 

I’m slowly but surely learning to let go of my need to just get through…

And in it’s place I’m learning to see what’s right in front of me. To slow down. To enjoy right where I am and leave the rest behind. My need for control and feeling accomplished is drifting away to make room for the beauty that life holds.

“Life can happen to you or you can make life happen.” I’ve heard that saying many times in my life, but it’s never rang more true than it does in this season. With two tiny humans and so many demands, I can easily let life happen to me, but then what will I miss if I do? So instead…

I’m choosing to make life happen.

When I’m old and grey, I want to look back on this season of life with a fondness that only comes when I’m present and see the beauty right in front of me. I don’t want to think of this season as just “surviving”, but a season of “thriving”.

I’m still a work in progress and I may never be done. But I’m so grateful for the ability to have a fresh start each and every day…

XOXO,

~P

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