Losening the grip

For most of my adult life I’ve lived by my schedule and plans. I like to know what each day holds and have an idea of what my future will bring. And even to this day, I schedule.

And when something gets in the way of my schedule, I feel a rise in my chest and frustration sets in.

I know this is wrong. Life cannot be so planned out and scheduled that I allow the littlest of things to upset me. I know this in my heart, but sometimes I forget to live this out. I get so wrapped up in what I want my days to look like that I forget that life is unpredictable, especially with kids.

Just this morning, I had this realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it before, it just hit me like never before.

I have this vision of how I want my days to begin. I wake at 6am on a quiet Sunday morning and plan to soak in the peacefulness of our home by doing a little reading before I head out to the garden to do some pruning and watering. When I’m all finished, I come inside to make myself some coffee and curl up on the couch for a few minutes before the kiddos wake.

Only that’s rarely how my Sunday mornings go. The reality is they go a little more like this…

I wake at 6am and before I can even make it out of my bedroom, Jase comes walking in. I bend down to kiss him and ask him if he slept well, thinking “Ok, this is not how I was hoping to start my day, but that’s ok…I’ll put on a show for him, get him some cereal and get to my reading & gardening…not quite as peaceful, but I’ll make it work!”

Only it doesn’t quite happen like that either. We walk out to the living room and before I can put on his show and get him some cereal, he starts to throw a fit over a toy he can’t find. I was ok with having some company but a fit, please no! All I can think is, well there goes the peaceful morning I had hoped for…

But here’s the realization.

It’s ok to have plans and to schedule our lives. But we have to hold them with a lose grip. It’s good to have an idea of what we want our lives to look like and make space for the things we want to accomplish in our days, but we have to be flexible.

When we remember that we have a God that will always give us the time and space to get to what truly matters in our days, we can allow life to happen. We don’t need to get frustrated when our days start in a completely different way than we had hoped for, because maybe there’s something more that awaits us when we don’t live so true to our schedule.

Maybe there’s tears to be wiped away. A hug to be given. A story to be heared for the tenth time.

I had this thought when this realization hit me this morning, that when we’re so fixated on living our lives the way we want to live them (even when it includes good things) without allowing God to enter into the moments of our days where others need us, we might just be missing out on some of the best parts of our lives.

The parts that allow us to connect with our children and let them know that they’re more important to us than a quiet Sunday morning. The parts that allow us to get down on their level, look them in the eyes and let them know that they are loved and their feelings matter too. The parts that allow us to experience the beauty that our lives hold.

And really, it all works out in the end…

I found the toy. I wiped away the tears and taught him a lesson about not throwing a tantrum over silly things. I put on his show and got him a bowl a cereal. I read, I tended to the garden and still got a few minutes of quiet time. And I even had time to write this all down for you to read.

God will always make time & space in our days for what truly matters. We just need to loosen the grip and be ready for the little moments of our days that will be sure to fill up our hearts.

XOXO,

~P

 

 

 

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