Behind the Name

“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” -Ben Sweetland

When I was first deciding on a name for my blog, I wanted it to capture the essence of my life both past & present. And I kept coming back to the word happiness. For so long, I didn’t feel much happiness in my life, but I desperately wanted to.

When I think back to that time in my life,  I felt the only way to get there was to finally become a momma. But one thing I’ve learned is that it isn’t just that one thing you crave that will bring you happiness. It’s a daily choice.

Because even though I’m living my dream now, it doesn’t mean every day is happy.

I didn’t know this then, but being a momma is not an easy job. It’s very demanding, exhausting and stressful. Worth it, yes. But not always happy.

I don’t want to look back on this season of my life and feel like I let the hard stuff get in the way of my happiness though. So I’m choosing to find pure happiness in each of my days. What do I mean by pure?

To me, pure happiness comes from within. From your heart. Because finding that kind of happiness can only come from God. Only He has the ability to provide a different lense through which we see our lives. To look for those moments, where you feel that warmth in your heart even when the days are hard.

My hope is to share how I’m finding pure happiness in each of my days, so that you too can find it in yours…

Because after all it’s the community, connection & being real that bonds us and inspires us. Sharing the hard stuff, the messy stuff and the beautiful stuff makes us feel less alone. It gives us the ability to learn from one another and live the lives we were meant to live.

Happiness is a choice that we must make daily. I’m not great at it, and there are many days I completely fail. I let the sleepless nights, teething babies & tantrums cloud my ability to see the happiness that is always there. But I will continue to search for it, trust it’s there and lean on God when I can’t seem to get there.

The beauty of this life is it’s never too late. Each day brings a chance to make new choices and to live life Finding YOUR Pure Happiness…

XOXO,

~P

 

Reflecting Back and Moving Forward…

Hi Friend and Happy 2017!! I hope the holidays treated you well 🙂 After some time away from writing here in this little space of mine, I’m ready to get back to sharing with you the happenings in my life as well as what’s on my heart.

As I reflect back on 2016, I have this overwhelming feeling of HOPE. Hope for what the new year brings and hope for how God will use me. So much change has happened over the last year and I am definitely not where I thought I would be…

I’m some place better.

I’m more still, patient, joyful, connect, present and hopeful. My faith is stronger. And I now feel confident in where God has called me to be. I’m so grateful for the ups & downs that the past year brought with it…they brought me to a place where my relationship with God and the people I love is stronger than ever.

When I think about the possibilities that are ahead of me, I feel overcome with joy. Knowing where you’re supposed to be and getting there is so fulfilling. For so long I moved from job to job, never feeling truly satisfied. It wasn’t until I finally got quiet and listened to what God was trying to tell me, did I find true contentment. Getting to use my story to help others brings so much happiness to my life.

I always knew there had to be more to my journey, but I had no idea just how amazing it would be.

I’ll be honest, when I first started this blog I wanted it to be a place where I could share and document my life now…as a momma and no longer someone who struggles with HA. But I kept feeling this pull to share. Share my story, share what worked for me and share how I could help. I had no idea how things would change by following my heart. If you’ve been with me from the start, I’m sure you’ve noticed the progression. Sometimes you may have to walk along blind, solely relying on your Faith to get to a place where everything feels right.

I love that I get to help others going through the struggles of my past as well as share my heart and where I am today. My hope is that it inspires others to never give up. This can be your reality too. To be on the other side and truly recovered is simply amazing!

As I move forward into the new year…

I’m not exactly sure where God will continue to lead me, but my hope is to continue to provide encouragement to those in the HA Sisterhood as well build connections here with you. I’m not one to set resolutions, but I do have some goals/priorities for the coming year:

  • Continue to build my relationship with God
  • Spend more time being present with my family
  • Provide support & encouragement to those struggling with HA
  • Be more intentional about getting together with the special people in my life

I hope that as you reflect back on the past year and look forward to the future, you’re filled with happiness & excitement for what’s to come. Thank you for reading along and for all your support…Cheers to 2017!!!

XOXO,

~P

 

My Redemption Story.

Re•demp•tion: The act of being saved from error…

I was once asked to think of a time I created a mess for myself and found myself being saved from God and in it’s place given a miracle.

It didn’t take long for me to think of the mess I had unknowingly created for myself during my struggle with infertility. As the pain & hurt from not being able to have a child grew more and more with each passing day, so did the mess I found myself in.

For the first 6 years of my struggle with infertility, I had no idea that the mess I was in was caused by my lifestyle. The hours at the gym, the restriction I put myself through on a daily basis. They were the mess. I’m honestly not sure had someone told me during the darkest years that it was my desire to be thin that was causing all of this pain, if I would have made the change I needed to make.

It wasn’t until I came to the point of desperation that I was ready to do whatever it took. I was running out of options and time.

My relationship with God during those years was distant at best. I always felt He was there, but I didn’t think He was listening to my cries and brokenness. I didn’t think He had a plan for me or that my dreams and prayers would be answered.

Looking back now I can see so clearly how He held me close and kept me safe, even during the heartbreak and tragic losses.

Yes, I created a mess for myself. I may not have know it at the time, but I was absolutely the one who brought this upon myself. There was a time I felt deep shame over this mess and couldn’t believe I let my desire to be thin take so much from me. But God wasn’t ashamed. Instead He took that mess and turned it into the most beautiful miracles I could have never given to myself.

He gave my my babies and the ability to love them in the deepest way. He gave me a calling and a passion. He took my story and turned it into something beautiful, something life giving.

He gave me my redemption. He saved me from my error and in it’s place brought beauty & healing.

I’m so grateful for my journey and the ability to touch others lives. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel a wave of emotion wash over me when I think about how He’s using me. When I see that my story is changing lives, it brings tears of joy to my eyes.

For so long I felt unworthy, not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough. I felt forgotten, a face in the crowd. But those are just lies.

We are all Worthy, Enough, Beautiful…and we all have a Purpose. We were placed on this earth to do good in our own ways. To use our story and messes for the benefit of others. To allow God to save us from error and turn it into something beautiful.

My sweet sisters, if you’re feeling unloved, unworthy, ashamed or forgotten, please know that you are not alone. There is a God out there waiting to use you and all your messes for good. He wants to turn it into something beautiful, all you have to do is allow it to happen…

XOXO,

~P